Have you experienced enough grace?

The only reason why many people could only see the speck of other people's eyes instead of the plank in their eyes is pride. Some people truly despise others because of some weaknesses that they couldn't get rid of. They may not explicitly show that they look down on them, but they like dropping sarcastic hints here and there to let them down. Well, it could be a means to 'encourage' so and so to improve but time and time again, it is proven wrong and ineffective.

Some weaknesses that other people possess may not be the area that we are struggling in. Let me give you one example. A kid born in a family which is very open to pornography may have the struggle of overcoming the addiction of watching pornographic materials. If we were to tease him or her of this weakness, that person has a greater possibility of throwing in the towel in fighting with this temptation.

We all need encouragement. Jesus has never said things like, "Hey, dude, didn't I tell you not do that? See what happened to you now? Nah, in your face!" or "Oh man...I'm losing my patience on you already. Why can't you do it better next time? I'm tired of seeing you repeat the same mistake." How would you feel if God really does saying stuff like that. That will only etch a loser mark in us. Instead of condemning us, God offers us grace.

"Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him. Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt. The servant fell on this knees before him. 'Be patient with me' he begged, 'and I will pay back everything.' The servant's master took pity on him, cancelled the debt and let him go.

But when that servant went out, he found one of this fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii. he grabbed him and began to choke him. 'Pay back what you owe me!' he demanded. His fellow servant fell on his knees and begged him.'Be patient with me,, and I will pay you back. But he refuse. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. When the other servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed and went and told their master everything that had happened.

Then the master called the servant in. 'You wicked servant.' he said, 'I cancelled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as i had on you?' In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed." Matthew 18: 23-35

If we truly experience God's grace, we will offer the same grace to others. Whenever we know that someone has weakness in certain area, the right thing to do is to encourage that person by words of exhortation. If we only plan to criticise someone without having the intention of helping that person, we are just hypocritical. Do not just use the word to reprimand but not building a person up for the bible says, " Preach the Word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage—with great patience and careful instruction." 2 Timothy 2:4

Self-reflection: Have you offered enough grace to others?

He's all alone

with you

Day and night

I'm here with you

Whenever you feel afraid

My arms stretch out to you

Many times

you push my hands away

Though I feel hurt

but I will never let you go

because I know what you are going through

Fear has overwhelmed you

guilt has subdued you

the tiredness of fighting with resentment

The struggle of facing humiliation

all these

I understand

I know

Let me hold your hands

Let me comfort your fainting soul

I'm here...

I'm here...

Even if you fall

I will catch you

I will put you in my arms

and will never let you go

Do you stand for what you believe?

Many Christians face the dilemma over the decision of following God and following the world. We always want to get direct answers from God but surprisingly, we're always frightened by the answer that we get. This happens because we always expect God to respond to our prayers the way we want it to be. Don't you think this is an act of treating God like Santa Claus or wishing well?

Christians have many dreams to pursue and they may think whatever they do are for the kingdom of God. Things such as forming a great band, be the best Christian singer that will impact the world, making the best film that will make many converts. These dreams are great and may sound or seem pleasant to those who are sold out for God. Nevertheless, in the process of pursuing their dreams, they forget about the general commands that God wants us to follow, which is to make disciple.

Making disciple is not an overnight transformation of new believers but a constant follow-up with their walk with Jesus. It's always easy to make converts but when it comes to making disciples, many churches fail in this area. If we were to really stand up for what we believe, we would pour our our lives to others regardless of how tiring it is to bring up a person.

As I have learnt from cell meeting, God's given purpose is never for us but for others. We are made for God and thus we live for others. Jesus laid down his life for us when we were yet sinners. Therefore, we shall do the same, washing other people's feet despite of how dirty their feet are.

The summary of Cell discussion material has made a good point of what on earth we are here for.

The purpose of life is far greater than

Your own personal fulfilment...

Your peace of mind...

or even your happiness...

It's far greater than your family...

Your career....

or even your wildest dreams and ambitions...

I understand that not many people will take this path. But if we were to live up the calling of God, certain things shall be ripped off in order to gain reward of eternity. May God continue to sustain me, giving me encouragement to move on so that more people will believe in this true God who's always willing to forgive our many sins.

Sleepless night

It's already 2.50am. I know that I should be in the bed but Left 4 Dead has awaken my brain neuron cells. When I closed my eyes, I could only see zombies running towards me as if I was alive in the cyber world, fighting my very best to stay on. I'm totally convicted that I have to stop playing computer games. As I was washing my face, a soft voice whispered to my ears, saying that I must stop all these addictions. The living room has been empty for quite some time and it's time to clean it up so that Jesus and I will have more personal time in the comfy room.

The other reason which made me keep tossing and turning in my bed is my career. As I browsed through the list of jobs available in jobstreet, I've found a job which I've been searching for. It's only a five-day job and it offers 2-2.3k monthly salary. For Ipoh standard, the pay is considered very high especially for an administrative work. All along, I wanted a job which allows me to dedicate my time on church ministry and here comes the opportunity. But I dare not to take the step of handing in my resignation letter because I don't want to disappoint Winson's mum. My heart tells me that I should try other jobs instead of sticking to the current one. I'm literally torn apart. It's a very hard decision to make. If only God just told me what to do, life would be so much simpler.

New hairdo

Finally, I've got a new image. I'm already very tired of looking at my long straight hair. Time for a change. Here are the pictures of 'before' and 'after' as well as my nerdy look.

Nerdy Look

Before

After

That's all for today. = p

What is wrong with everyone?

Ever since I came back from Genting, I feel that I have lost touch with everyone. I truly miss yee sue and judee but they don't seem to respond to my messages whenever i text them. I'm very worried about them...Kylie is always on my mind coz she seems to be slowly drifting away from God. I realize that once temptations seize us, there's no way we can run away from them and I think materialism is choking every part of her life...I hope that you guys will keep Kylie in your prayer so that she won't lose faith in God.

I need to give more time to others rather then playing Plants versus Zombies...It's like a devil living in me that my hands can barely leave my pc. It consumes so much of my time! Joy, no more addiction to this game k? You've got to put a full stop to this and start practicing spiritual discipline (that's what we've learnt from the genting retreat).

Yesterday, i learnt something about prayer from the cell meeting. Praying is an act of honesty to God. A righteous man's prayer is more effective not because he is religious in some way or he is holier than others but putting his prayer into action. Rob Bell says that we could be the answer to our prayer. We always pray for the external circumstances to change whereas we ourselves could actually internally change our perspective and attitude towards the world in which will eventually alter the circumstances around us. Good point to be contemplated over, huh...

Let's develop the habit of praying so that we will not be so 'emo' but rather do something that we can make the world a better place.

Words....

I think a lot of people agree with me that blogging can be very addictive= P...I find blogging helpful for my spiritual life. I helps me to reflect on the things I've learnt from God. Today is another same old day where I rot at home and my grandma repeats the same complaints again just like radio ad. I wonder if I would become like her one day. That sounds pretty scary...Nonetheless, I learn a valuable lesson from my grandma...

Our mouth can be a powerful weapon that it makes or breaks a person. In the bible, it says that mouth is like a rudder which controls the direction of a ship set on sailing. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison (James 3). I'm sure many of you still remember the negative things people said about you and those memories have left an indelible mark in us which make who we are today. Insecurity and low self-esteemed are the result of negative remarks which compel me to put on a hypocritical mask. Therefore, we must be very careful in our speech lest that our words affect the future of others. Instead of using this creation of God to curse or condemn people, why don't we use our mouth to praise God, to give compliments or word of gratitude to others and encourage others?

I kind of understand why my grandma reacted in this manner. It is the defense mechanism that has been activated to protect her pride and ego. The contrast between my grandma and Jesus/God is strikingly huge. Although Jesus has already existed even before the earth was formed, what He sees and experiences is definitely more than any genius in this world, but He considered Himself equal among men, just like anyone of us, and died for our sins. There is no pride or ego in Him but selfless sacrificial love...Since we are called to be more like Him, I think it's time to let go of our pride and ego and allow God to continue His work of sanctification and transformation in you and me.

Silent Lamb

Sigh...It's been three days i miss my daily routine.I feel very useless at home especially when I have nothing better to do. I have tried killing my time by reading self-motivational books, watching Korean drama (Princess Hour. I think you guys should be very familiar with this soap opera) and sending nonsense messages to my friends. I don't want to give myself a chance to think of anything stupid. Whenever my mind is blank, I will think of all sort of stupid stuff that is far beyond your imagination.

Suicidal thought attacked my mind after having an argument with my grandma. I don't like to be misunderstood and words just cannot vindicate my actions. No matter how many times i explained to my grandma, she just won't listen. I hate the feeling of not being forgiven. As I was sitting in the second hall, I found a knife on the marble table. I attempted to kill myself at that time but something was pulling me off. I knew it must be the Spirit at work. However, the feeling of anger and frustration was boiling within me and I have no where to release it. Finally, I broke down in tears inside my room and screamed on top of my voice with my mouth covered by pillow. I really thank God that Winson and my dad came in just at the right time.

After taking much time to cool down myself, the Word of God dawned on me which is Isaiah 53 (Note the verse which I have highlighted below). Although Jesus knew no sin but yet people crucified Him on the cross. When He was tried, He didn't say anything to defend Himself but He was as tame as the lamb which has been prophesied by the prophet Isaiah. He taught me not to take revenge but to taking the extra miles. An eye for an eye adage is never in the teaching of Jesus. No matter how people demean, humiliate or misunderstand me, as long as my action and conscience are right before God, I shall silence myself just like Jesus because only He alone justifies my action. May He give me strength to endure all the hard words that are going to come out from my grandma's mouth. Thank you, Jesus.

Isaiah 53

¹ Who has believed our message
and to whom has the arm of the LORD been revealed?

² He grew up before him like a tender shoot,
and like a root out of dry ground.
He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him,
nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.

³ He was despised and rejected by men,
a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering.
Like one from whom men hide their faces
he was despised, and we esteemed him not.

⁴ Surely he took up our infirmities
and carried our sorrows,
yet we considered him stricken by God,
smitten by him, and afflicted.

⁵ But he was pierced for our transgressions,
he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was upon him,
and by his wounds we are healed.

⁶ We all, like sheep, have gone astray,
each of us has turned to his own way;
and the LORD has laid on him
the iniquity of us all.

⁷ He was oppressed and afflicted,
yet he did not open his mouth;
he was led like a lamb to the slaughter,
and as a sheep before her shearers is silent,
so he did not open his mouth.

⁸ By oppression and judgment he was taken away.
And who can speak of his descendants?
For he was cut off from the land of the living;
for the transgression of my people he was stricken.

⁹ He was assigned a grave with the wicked,
and with the rich in his death,
though he had done no violence,
nor was any deceit in his mouth.

¹⁰ Yet it was the LORD's will to crush him and cause him to suffer,
and though the LORD makes his life a guilt offering,
he will see his offspring and prolong his days,
and the will of the LORD will prosper in his hand.

¹¹ After the suffering of his soul,
he will see the light of life and be satisfied;
by his knowledge my righteous servant will justify many,
and he will bear their iniquities.

¹² Therefore I will give him a portion among the great,
and he will divide the spoils with the strong,
because he poured out his life unto death,
and was numbered with the transgressors.
For he bore the sin of many,
and made intercession for the transgressors.

~Every bit of my life: 1~

I attended young adult cell today and the theme of the video that we watched is "Matthew". The starting of the video captured my attention because the music was very soothing and it actually comforted me. Rob Bell started the topic with an introduction of his closed friend named Matthew. Matt stayed together with him after the split of his parents. He didn't grieve over the separation of his parents but he continued moving on with his life from school to work. Eventually, Matt died in a very terrible car accident. At that moment, my heart ached when Rob teared on the screen as he recalled his memory with Matt. I understand the feeling of loss of loved ones. His story reminded of the demise of my mum and my grandma.

Personally experienced this when i was just a ten-year-old kid. My mum suffered from systemic lupus erythematosus (SLE) and it had chronically damaged my mum's lungs which resulted in her death due to lung failure. That was the very first time i see my dad cry. He wept as he saw my mum lying on the bed with the support of heart-lung machine. When i received the news of my mum's death, i did not cry. I was kind of prepared for the day to come. I told myself not to cry coz there's not point crying. How good would it be if my mum is still alive...I really thank God that He gave my mum a chance to know Him and to receive Him as her saviour.

Emotion

It's sad to see people easily swayed by their own emotions. haha...i'm not excluded from this. Whenever we are in the mood of entertaining others, we may go around with a big smile on our faces, trying to be a good buddy to everyone. But when we go through episodes of unhappy events (e.g. just have had a small cut on your finger, someone has unintentionally offended you, dislike a person's attitude due to previous happening, failure in relationship, arguments with family or friends, frustration with studies and etc), we let our anger, frustration and sadness break loose either by beating others, mentally or verbally abusing our loved ones, putting on a touch-the-ground papaya face, staring into the thin air as if no one is around or showing cynical attitude.

What does God say when we face giants in our lives?

"Be joyful always; pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus" 1 Thessalonians 5: 16 - 18

God asks us to be thankful in ALL circumstances, whether it rains or shines. We thank God not because we receive material blessing (i.e, PSP, car, clothes, shoes, cosmetics, handphone, musical instrument, laptop) or when things going our way but because God alone is good. Being thankful means always be grateful even if there's only a dim light of hope. You might ask, "How can i be grateful since God allowed these things happened to me?!!" Well, i can tell you that life is not a bed of roses. We have to go through difficulties in order to make us grow (Too bad if you purposely look for trouble). if we were to sulk over every single unhappy event, we will only trap ourselves in bitterness and can hardly have breakthrough. That is why God commands us to be joyful always so that we will be freed from this bondage.

Consider Job who lost everything. First the loss of his properties with the news of his children death followed and was later inflicted by sores from tip to toe. During that period of agony, he didn't curse God for the mishaps that happened, however, he said this,

"Naked i came from my mother's womb, and naked i will depart. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised."

May you find joy, peace and strength from God in times of difficulties.

Blessed!!!

I'm blessed to have a group of good friends around me.Things are going well nowadays.People start to practice the Word of God in their lives especially Andrew and Weng Kin. I'm very proud of them because they are becoming more mature and are willing to make more sacrifice for the sake of Christ. I just hope that they will continue to keep up their passion for God. Guys and gals, days will be tough for me if i were to live without you guys...thanks a lot...

Today, the church seemed to be a bit quiet. It could be the absence of "the loudspeaker" that made me feel this way. Judee, i feel very uneasy when you are not around la...do you know how important you are to me!!!hehe...I was excited to see Gladys, my ex-mentor in church but didn't know what to say when she beckoned me to her side. The situation was a bit awkward. Glad to know that she still goes to church in Singapore. Made a date with Christina today that we'll go to Singapore together once she's done with her degree. The porridge made by Aunty Saw was great. I had two bowls of it with extra "yau zha ghui" as topping, sitting at the same table as Jia Foong and Kylie. Jia Foong seemed to be quiet as well, not as talkative as last time. Wish that i could finish my thesis before due date so that i can have more time for them, to share every bit of my life with them.

It is great to have Ka Yee in our midst. She gives me the impresision that she's different other youths, not emotional, joyful, easy-going, sociable, not grumpy and not demanding. Although she's not a Christian but she seems to enjoy coming to church. Today, in cell, as i shared about the love of Christ and His death on the cross, she was very attentive and her eyes turned red. I really hope that the gospel speaks to her heart. I will try to probe something from her soon. hehe...

After the youth service, we went 'tasty place' to have our lunch. Yee Sue, another great sister in Christ of mine was sitting beside me. Chatting with her is an enjoyment because of her friendly character. I've already promised Kylie that i'd teach her drum on Sundays in which today. Therefore, i went back to church after the meal to give a her drum lesson. Kylie is very talented in playing drums although she doesn't listen to my instruction at times. She can get the groove of it very fast whenever a song is being played. I taught her a new drum beat but she took quite sometime to get it because of her hands and feet coordination. but i believe she can do it next week if she really practices in kampar.

Winson is going to stay overnight in Kampar tonight. sigh...won't be seeing him for one day...

Definition of Beauty

I feel very sad deep within...I'm afraid of what future holds. when i browsed through my schoolmates' pictures, sense of jealousy overwhelmed me. They looked so much happier than where i am now. I feel that i'm very small, naive, immature and stupid. WHY can't i live the life that i want?

Suddenly, God reminded me of His word. Time ticks away swiftly and our days are numbered...no matter how pretty we dress up, how smart we can be or how successful we are in this world, we are nothing in the eyes of God. What he matters most is our relationship with Him. There are times i struggle with the flesh desire, but His Word comforts me. He brings me hope and a promising future, a life that is different from the world point of view.

Last Saturday night, Winson shared to me the life journey of John Wesley, the founder of Methodist Church. His only mission in life is to carry the good news to God's people. He disciplined himself to sleep at 10pm and wake up at 4am to preach the good news to the peasants. He entirely deprived himself of entertainment. Daily, he engaged himself in prayer at least 4 hours. Despite of the toil he went through, he gave all his money to the poor and the needy. He said that if anyone were to find more than 10 pounds in his body after he died, he'd consider himself a thief by robbing the poor. In his lifetime, he earned only 1 pound a day, and his earning in total was approximately 21900 pounds, excluding the selling of his articles. However, he donated 30,000 pounds to the poor and the needy.


Because of the contribution of John Wesley, the church grew and God added number upon the church. To me, i think that is the legacy God wants us to pass on, selfless faith and great compassion for God's people, die for the gospel...

May i pursue this beauty rather than the beauty that fades...

Relationship

God created us to be in relationship with Him, not out of loneliness or a desire for company, but because God loves us and wants us to share in that love.

It's sad, but often we find ourselves ignoring this relationship. We give God a tiny part of our busy days, maybe because we feel we don't have that much time to give, or we just don't want to pay much attention to God. And the longer we stay away from God, the harder it is to get close to God again.

That's not the way it's supposed to be. Our growing relationship with God should be the most important aspect of our lives. Listen to this: the Almighty God of heaven and earth wants to spend some time with us - with you and me! Like a good friend, God is eager to hear from us! God values our company. Can we really say we don't have space for God in our lives?

Martin Luther once said:"I have so much to do, if i don't pray for three or four hours first, it'll never get done." Of course, he said it in German, but you get the gist. Staying in touch with God isn't a luxury to be squeezed in if we have the time; it's an absolute necessity. Especially when we're feeling the time-stressed and when the demands of school, work, family, and our social life are threatening to drive us up the wall. It is precisely then, says Luther, that we need to stay touch with God - even if it means getting up a little earlier or passing up our favourite TV show or taking time from our busy day to talk about God.

Getting to know God - so that we may better worship and serve Him - is our chief purpose in life. In fact, it's what eternal life is all about too. "Now this is eternal life, that they may know you, the only true God." (John 17:3)

Since you have know the importance of building good relationship, let us read the passage below and answer some questions below to find out what Jesus truly needs from us.
As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman name Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked. "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!" "Martha, Martha," the answered, "You are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her." (Luke 10:38-42)

1. As you read this passage, notice the difference between Mary's and Martha's response to Jesus.

2. Why was Martha upset? Can you understand her feelings?

3. What is the "one thing" which Jesus speaks of in verse 24?

4. Who are you more like, Martha or Mary? 5. What gets in the way of your sitting down and spending time with God.

Finally, i have my own blog

Before this blog is created, i was dying to have my own blog. I truly admire the way some people use their blogs to impact the lives of others. I truly hope that i will have the consistency in maintaining this blog...

Think D.E.E.P.: erm...hello?

Think D.E.E.P.: erm...hello?